Everybody Needs Uppers Right Now, Which Are You?
Harlan Jacobsen. Copyright © 2009 |
Dating and good companionship have little to do with a job or money. You can have one with out the other.
You can have a great job and income and no companionship, and/or you can have friends and companionship all over the place with no job or money.
First, lets look at how attitudes change. It used to be you supposedly did not want to date or marry anyone that had been divorced. Sort of an old wives cautionary tale rule of thumb.
They must have some flaw or they would not be divorced was the reasoning.
That finally turned around when they finally realized that was not true......and it did abruptly turn around.
Dating someone who was into adulthood and had never been married, was now "suspect". Divorce meant you had been able to develop at least one long term relationship.
Must be something wrong with them or they would have been married at least once by this age.
Now being laid off means you need special extra attention to HELP you get thru the crisis. You are not some one to avoid, you are someone to extend a little extra warmness.
Not enough money to do certain things? No problem, that's not what's important.
Interested in knowing you just as a person not because of your job, etc.
They want to show that.....and will..
NOW: Definition of the words DATE:
"A date is a contract for a shared period of time."
It is NOT a contract to spend any money on anybody unless otherwise specified.
Lets get together Tuesday at 10:00 at Murphy's.
Would you like to go along and watch the hot air balloons all inflate Sunday morning 6 a.m. at river park?
Again, that was not a contract for anyone to spend any money on anyone.
You might make it plain up front: I was laid off from Westfield's in February so I still have to watch the pennies.
Then, if you are a woman you think you cannot date and they are not interested in you because you cannot afford a baby sitter to go out, etc. whenever they want, then revise the thinking.
Tell them that up front. If they want some specific time you cannot work around because of a conflict, they are welcome if they are working to pick up the babysitting tab, but this is your situation right now.
You should not expect that as a rule of thumb.
You can work out many times to be available when they like offer optional other times instead... available and interested but not any or all the time.....
Here is how you do it.
Find another mother with about the same number and age children. Make arrangements that you can with an advance notice drop off your children for a reasonable amount of time with their kids at their place. Of if prefer can bring her kids to your place and look after both.
She accumulates hours and you repay doing exactly the same with her kids.
Result, no more insurmountable baby sitting problem keeping you from going out. Now you may have times when both
want to go out at the same time. Maybe you need two people you swap with.
Work that out, but you now see this does not need to be an insurmountable problem.
You will likely want to continue this budget saver arrangement even after you go back to work.
My daughter, Dr. Janet Jacobsen has posted on several of our sites columns she used to call "cheap" dates.
Thinking back, some of my most memorable dates, were "no money" dates.
Spending "time" together is the name of the game. Money is NOT the decider.
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Harlan's NEW "Help Sites" for Hard Times
A "Laid off" site that is called "Laid off, go here" and an online support group, "Laid off talk here"site for the "surprise your unemployed" pink slip recipients. For those who can not find a job and decide to become self employed, a site called "hiredmyself".
To keep informed on recession trends, a directory of maps and graphs, where unemployment is, and where the jobs are etc. called of course, Recession Maps and Graphs. A one look view of whats happening.
Harlan was diagnosed with Diabetes, and obesity, over four years ago, and spent four years, researching both, now publishes his finding "what works" in a newspaper and a web site called "Diabetes Cure 101 and the Obesity fix at YB Fat 101.
Also wound up with a lot of research that uncovered Longevity Steps and puts that all up to pass along to you in "Outlive Your doctor" web site. Harlan is now over 80 and in excellent health, if that helps.
The key to both Harlan found is a switch in what you eat, and this site explaining that is called "the ancestors diet."
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