Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
Because to be well in a couple one must first be well alone
To achieve well-being within the couple one must first be well alone.
In fact, the couple is composed of two people who have two functioning with needs, necessities, and relational dynamics that have been formed by the individual’s life journey and therefore may be very different from each other.
When the couple is formed, a new space is born in which the we is formed.
In this very space, the inner world of the partner interacts with the other, and if the two worlds work, the couple achieves well-being.
So this is why to be well in a couple, one must first be well alone.
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If the two worlds of the individual interact in the space of the we, it will be easy to see how important individual balance is.
Yes because only if the partner has attained the awareness he or she needs to be well will he or she be able to help form the balance of the couple.
This creates an ongoing exchange that is considered a true nourishment for the world of two.
Preserving individuality
Healthy love maintains the individuality of each of the partners.
This means that one without the other can stay.
Obsessive attachment leads to nothing good except feeling sad and empty when the other is not there.
To experience one’s individuality within the couple, it is necessary to have discovered it first.
Self-confidence
To be comfortable in a couple it is necessary to have achieved a good amount of self-confidence.
Feeling secure in fact means that I can trust the other person, I will not need to control him/her, and I will feel comfortable when talking to people of the same sex for example.
There will be no unwarranted paranoia but a healthy mutual trust that comes from within.
Au pair
If you are comfortable with yourself you will not need power plays within the couple.
The quarrel will not be seen as a fight between who is stronger, there will be no competition, feelings of inferiority or on the contrary superiority.
You will be fans of each other, rejoice together over successes and console each other on bad days.
As long as you feel good about yourselves first.
