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Discussions that all couples have at least once in their lives
All couples fight and have arguments on any topic.
Sometimes these are major issues, such as couple’s money or sexual dissatisfaction, other times the problems are about more contemporary battles such as social media use, family habits, or how to spend one’s free time.
But beyond what the fight is about, there is one important thing absolutely to remember: all happy couples fight about something.
There are in fact some arguments that every relationship faces, and they actually only make the relationship healthier.
Joanna Harrison, family therapist and author of the book Five Arguments All Couples (Need To) Have: And Why the Washing-Up Matters, highlighted what arguments all couples need to have in order to have a healthy relationship. Here they are.
**Fighting is good for the couple (science says so)**
**5 tips (from the experts) for constructive arguments**
5 couple arguments that will help you improve your relationship
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You never listen to me
The real significance of this topic is the importance of productive communication.
Often, within a relationship, recognition is underestimated, although it can be really helpful.
Being able to acknowledge what your partner has said does not mean that you agree with his or her ideas, but it shows that you have considered what he or she has said. Sometimes we worry that if we acknowledge what our partner is feeling, it will mean that his or her feeling wins or becomes more important.
These conversations can contain valuable information that helps us get to know each other better.
2. Your mother drives me crazy
In discussions, the stereotypical problem with mother-in-law actually represents the problem of having to deal with each other’s families on all levels.
The moment when we meet the partner’s parents is often considered significant, but it represents only the beginning of the long and complex task of finding a way to deal with the reality of each other’s families and their ways, and also with the hopes and desires that each can bring to a relationship based on their own experiences.
Every family has its own ways of doing things, its own atmosphere, its own rules. As children growing up in a particular family, we will inevitably inhale from that individual atmosphere ideas about how things are done: from how to eat to how to show love…
But when that child, who is now an adult, joins in relationship with someone else, it is important to find a way to manage and get to know each other’s different perspectives.
The expert then recommends taking time to be curious about each other’s families and have an open mind so that you don’t assume that your family’s way is the right way, or easy for your partner to take.
3. You never take out the trash
As a hot topic for couples, not far removed from doing the dishes, is taking out the trash. At a deeper level, these kinds of discussions are about the roles that each person assumes within the couple.
Who takes out the garbage (and when?) is a symbolic question of the negotiations necessary to figure out what needs to be done, who does what, and how you both feel about each other.I give to the work you have to do in the report.
When couples argue or express irritation with each other about the work they are doing, it is their way of signaling these resentments or disappointments.
You spend all your time on the phone
Again, this kind of complaint has a deeper meaning and is about how we handle the distance between partners.
Often, especially when living together and sharing many things, it is easy to be physically present but mentally be somewhere else. Phones represent this distance because they are a way in which, while we are physically with our partners, we are doing something else with someone or something else.
Agreeing on the boundaries between phones and social media is an essential part of relationship management.
5. I’m not satisfied with our sex life
Another among the most common discussions in couples concerns bedroom life. Often, tensions between couples about their sex life concern the most sensitive and embarrassing issues between them.
The expert advises people to remember that there is no right way to live one’s sex life-there is no right amount of sex to have-as long as things work for both of them.
However, if there are problems with a partner sexually, couples need to find a way to talk about it, even though this may seem like an area where bringing up difficult feelings is forbidden.
The context in which a couple’s sexual life is set is constantly and inevitably changing; influenced by the different stages of a relationship moving from something new to something longer, by bodies changing over time, and also by the external pressures that life brings. All of this has an impact on a couple’s sex life, and a couple must be able to think together and dynamically about how to deal with that impact. Once again, problems can be solved through communication.
