Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
Do we have to admire the other to love him?
Reading time 3 minute(s)
Admiration is not the basis of love, but it is often part of the ingredients that make it up. It is difficult to love someone if we do not find qualities, values or a particularity that differs from others and that we admire in him. So, is it necessary to admire someone in order to love them?
The two types of admiration
Before going further, and answering the famous question, is it necessary to admire another person in order to love them, or to be admired in order to be loved, it is necessary to know that there are two types of admiration. At least according to me. The physical admiration on the one hand, which makes you find beautiful such or such person, such or such part of his body. And on the other hand the psychic admiration. Here, I speak about admiring the being in itself, its qualities, its mental etc…
A healthy admiration can make love last
Love and admiration can make good household, if the admiration that one feels for the other is healthy. It is true that the feeling of admiration is what one feels at the beginning of a love relationship. For example, a woman may admire her partner for his professional successes, his kindness and the fact that his partner makes her laugh all the time. It is normal for each person to seek assurance and recognition in the other’s eyes. If the admiration takes this direction, it can certainly make the love in the couple last. Because love is a subjective experience, it varies considerably between individuals. Your love must go beyond the superficial, beyond the purely emotional, to a state of mutual fascination and respect and mutual admiration.
Beware of the pitfalls of admiration
Those who have succeeded in their love relationship, advance the proof that the basis of a solid love relationship is in the admiration of the other. The flame can be extinguished and the spark becomes fragile if this main ingredient of love is missing. Admiration, if overdone, can become a burden to your partner. Admiration can also become a trap when your partner is afraid of disappointing you if he or she can no longer meet all your expectations. If your love is not strong enough to overcome the situation, your relationship will suffer because you no longer feel admiration for them. If the admiration is based on purely material valuesWhen these values disappear, your relationship as a couple will have a hard time functioning.
Keeping the flame of love alive with healthy and mutual admiration
When you admire someone, you respect them intimately. Admiration is a very personal matter. While you respect strangers, respect your elders; admiring an individual is a much more personal matter. Especially when that admiration comes with romantic love. One might even go so far as to say that without mutual admiration, romantic love can never achieve what some call eternal love, what the ancient Greeks called agape.
A perfect balance between love and admiration
Without mutual admiration, you and your partner will not be able to grow intimately together. You will lose interest over time and your spirits will waver, eventually breaking the bond you have both created over the years. Lovers already have a level of admiration for each other, but the intensity of the admiration varies. Most relationships have a superficial mutual admiration, sometimes a one-sided admiration. If you are able to admire and feel the need to seek admiration from your partner, and do so successfully, you create a self-perpetuating and self-sustaining cycle that allows your love to flourish.
Love without admiration?
I don’t think you can love without admiring your partner. It goes hand in hand. However, it is very possible to fall in love at first without this admiration and it will appear later. Besides, it is not because you do not admire a person at the beginning, that you will not necessarily fall in love. Note that this goes both ways, if one admires the other, the other will admire the one later.
