Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
Do you know why we like bad boys? Here’s the answer from psychologists
Almost all of us have asked ourselves at least once, But why do I always like the wrong guys? 147252
Well, apparently psychologists have finally found an answer to the age-old question.
In fact, despite all the warnings, if the attraction to that bad boy is so strong that it leads us to ignore the alarms we heard around him, there is a reason.
Indeed, we often cannot help but get ourselves into situations (or rather, relationships) that we already knew in the beginning would not work out.
But why do we always fall at their feet too often? Here’s the experts’ answer.
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Why do I always like the wrong guys? Here’s the answer
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The Bad Boy Sketch
Evolutionary biologists would use the term hypermasculinity to describe bad boys as we understand them here, explains Michael R. Cunningham, Ph.D., professor and psychologist at the University of Louisville.
These men exude testosterone, which leads to boldness and yet is also associated with exaggerated sexuality.
They are usually rebellious or emotionally unavailable men.
Basically they are narcissistic (with a sense of entitlement and a grandiose view of themselves), Machiavellian (insensitive and prone to exploit others), and psychopathic (perhaps with antisocial and impulsive behavior).
So why do we find them irresistible?
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We are attracted to others’ qualities that we wish we had
According to psychologists, bad boys free us from the pressure to be good girls.
Women possess a number of traits, such as rebelliousness, that have typically been repressed in childhood because females have historically been raised and socialized to conform to norms and be agreeable, explains Robyn McKay, Ph.D., psychologist and co-author of Smart Girls in the 21st Century. If a girl’s inner life is not expressed, she then may end up attracted to a bad boy as a way to express her inner rebellious spirit.
Basically We are attracted to the qualities in others that we ourselves would like to have, says sociologist and clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, A good girl may admire the bad boy’s sense of freedom.
Although this quality makes him or her an unsuitable long-term partner, it can make him or her attractive enough to equalize the potential pain inherent in the relationship.
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In addition, bad boys are often considered taboo, something to stay away from; which only adds to their appeal:
When we want something we can’t or shouldn’t have, our desire grows exponentially.
**Because to be good in a couple, you must first be good alone**
But there is also a scientific reason
Science, and particularly evolutionary biology, proposes a different answer as to why we find bad boys so attractive.
Dr. Fugère, author of the research Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, says the study shows that women are most attracted to these kinds of men during their menstrual cycle, that is, just before the time when they are most fertile.
Men with very masculine traits might have better quality genes, so this attraction might be an unconscious evolutionary level response for women.
That said, when the women in the research were asked what they looked for in an ideal partner, they all cited traits that describe the classic good guy, such as honesty, reliability, and respect.
Most of the women surveyed say they actively avoidrude, disrespectful, or physically aggressive partners, Dr. Fugère concludes, So on a conscious level, I think most women recognize that bad boys are not good as long-term partners.
**This is why couples often break up on Sundays**
