Expectations in a relationship: are you expecting too much from the couple?
Reading time 3 minute(s)
After the love encounter of your life, you are finally in a relationship. That’s great! The days go by and the happiness seems to flow with the weeks, the months, the years. Is it because your partner is no longer the same as he was when you first met him or is it because you expect too much from your relationship?If you are asking yourself this question, it is because disappointment is already showing its nose in your love relationship. Don’t give it time to grow between you and your partner and react!Why be so categorical? To let you know that the time to start the battle is now. At the first signs of weariness and the first embarrassing questions about your expectations of your lover. Even if they are only in your head at the moment, take them seriously before they blacken your daily actions.Indeed, by being fixed on our own expectations, we end up forgetting the other. And therein lies the problem, but also the answer to your question.
In a love relationship, to have, you have to give
One of the first rules is to get out of the preconceived idea of the couple. You know, the one that has been creeping up on us since the beginning of the 20th century and the appearance of the love marriage in our Western societies.The other is no longer chosen by the family or for the conventions, we choose him because we love him. If we love him/her, it is because he/she has all the qualities and therefore we can hardly bear his/her defects or a drop in feeling in the relationship.The second rule is also to stop referring to the models that are imposed on us: whether in the movies, in books, or on social networks, or even in our family! We must dare to be unique, dare to create our own couple, our own relationship.The third rule is to extricate yourself from the prevailing gender conflicts. In the life of a couple, there should be no territory to possess in the name of a societal ideology. The common thread of a couple should be the desire to give to the other person so that he or she can blossom. Not as a man or a woman, but simply as a human being whose happiness is important to us.Applying these three rules will put you in the position of being an attentive observer of your partner and not only of yourself and your expectations. Firstly, you will stop asking the other person to be perfect.Second: you will stop imposing on her to look like an ideal model that does not exist. Thirdly: you are going to pose as a provider of solutions and no longer as a revealer of dysfunctions!You have understood that the first step to feel good in your relationship is to want to give to the other person and not only to expect to receive.
In a love relationship, in order to have, you have to enjoy giving
With this philosophy, you will once again enjoy communicating with your partner to really hear what he or she is saying to you. It will no longer be the desire to be right and to make him bend to your injunctions that will prevail but the desire to understand him.A way to leave the claim to find the communication. In a word, you will use words and gestures again to consolidate your couple and not to note that it disappoints you. As a result, you will be giving to the other person and what is more satisfying than giving to the person you love? We can see them progress and blossom with us.
In a love relationship you must have the feeling of being fulfilled
Of course to be able to nourish your relationship to this point, you must first of all be fulfilled yourself! This is why you must not forget your needs, to take time for you and to spare some moments for you alone with friends in particular. Having a secret garden where the other is not will recharge you. Do not ask too much of your partner.