Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
First appointment: answers and solutions to the questions you are asking yourself
Do you have a first date and anxieties are gripping you?
Do you like him so much and are afraid of messing it up? Do you know him very little and are afraid you have nothing to say to him?
In general, the best answer you can give yourself is always one, don’t overthink it: there are disastrous dates that become long, lasting relationships and perfect first dates that last no more than one night.
Otherwise, here are what are the 8 most common questions before a first date and their answers and solutions.
(Continued below photo)How do I dress myself?
The drama usually begins here, in a seesaw of options between the little pickup dress (which might be intimidating or communicate the wrong message) and the serious career woman dress (which if you’re also fresh out of the office doesn’t count as justification and doesn’t sell you to the best of your ability).
The best solution lies somewhere in between: chaste jeans paired with a low-cut blouse or over shirt with a miniskirt. In both cases you will not go wrong.
What if he pats me?
Paranoia rises around 5 p.m. on the day of your date; if he hasn’t written yet, dramatic scenarios of indecision open up before you, all around a single, simple question, Do I write or do I wait for him to?
The best choice would be to calm down and wait full of optimism.
If you just can’t handle it write him a quiet hi, how are we staying for later? and stay calm.
Should I let him up or not?
Girlfriends say no, surveys say no, male friends say absolutely not, research says having sex on the first night decreases the chances of a lasting relationship ensuing.
The truth is that you should decide this based on how the evening goes and not by party line.
How much do I need to be myself?
The right answer is you should be yourself but without letting too much show.
The beautiful version of you: just as you covered your dark circles and dressed to emphasize your strengths so should you do with your character.
Without acting, show the best you have.
What do I do if I don’t want to see him again?
This is the part that in theory should be the easiest, although then it always happens that those you are trying to unload get attached to your ankles because they think you are playing at being wooed.
Should he turn out to be that kind of man, you will achieve the desired effect by doing exactly the opposite: look him in the eye and tell him that you would love to see him again, or that you have a crush on him: he will disappear from your existence within seconds.
What do I do if I like him?
If you want to see him again, you must become like an ice structure, a kind of inscrutable and impenetrable stone colossus, in all respects, physical and mental.
A mixture of the chick from The Matrix and a dried codfish at the market.
Stay at a safe distance and don’t let any emotion show without, however, looking like a serial killer with autism issues.
You don’t have to do anything, if you like it stay quiet, be yourself and if it’s roses they will bloom.
How much should I drink?
It is your first date, you are nervous and although a glass of wine might help you relax be careful not to overdo it.To keep your hands busy, it is easy to raise your glass several times, but the step from nice talk to slurred talk is really too short when you are under pressure.
Better to decide first whether to stop at a glass or two based on how much you are used to drinking and able to hold and stick to the plan.
What are we talking about?
Nothing too personal, no exes, no politics, just surf the surface without going too deep.
Cities, travel, movies, books, hobbies: present yourself like a well-made trailer for a movie, hinting at what’s behind it, what you like and who you are, but without exposing details of your private life that you might regret having told a stranger in case you never see him or her again.
