He writes me but doesn’t ask me out: recognizing (and avoiding) men who will never get to the point

Brodie Denham

Writer

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This is an inexplicable phenomenon, yet chronic parcel pullers exist and are (apparently) more and more, those who have been writing to you continuously for days, weeks or months, maybe even asking you out, but then never materializing.

They woo you, persuade you, follow you on all social media but then seem to have no intention of leaving (the virtual) to go out (with you).

They never materialize an invitation or if they do then back out by making up a variety of excuses not to see you.

Since they are wearisome in the long run, and if you are looking for love they are counterproductive to your mental health, here is how to recognize them so you can avoid them and not waste (further) time on them.

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Every time he has a different (and absurd) excuse

He always comes up with a wild excuse, like the car broke down, there was an earthquake only in his building, his mother had food poisoning, it’s raining and he is hydrophobic and can’t go out or the dog ate his house keys and he is locked inside with no way to get out.

You should collect them all: one day they will make you laugh a lot.

He wants to see you but then he doesn’t

He is always the one who wants to see you and give you an appointment, only then he changes his mind.

He invites you to an exhibition but then he goes there with friends, and you know this because he even posts it on Instagram Stories, he asks you to have coffee and then he cancels, he asks you to go for a beer and then he doesn’t show up and then he resets for the next day but then he can’t that day either.

You are in danger of going crazy.

He always warns you at the last minute

Of course, the package always happens ten minutes before the appointment, you have already crossed the city to go to the place he had chosen which is ten minutes from his house and half an hour from your house and taaaaaac, the message arrives with which he announces his getting foggy.

If it goes well once, after the second time block him on all social media and never be found again.

After sending the apology message he disappears

Of course the dynamic is always the same, he presses send to send the hallucinating apology and then more nothing, doesn’t answer your messages, doesn’t answer the phone, gone, reabsorbed by cosmic nothingness without giving any more signs of life.

He will show up after a couple of days when he proposes to go out again.

You happen to run into him outside

Anything can happen with these individuals, even running into them outside the same night they’ve come up with some wild excuses, at which point they’ll come up with even crazier ones, saying things like yes, I had thought about writing you back but then I felt bad about canceling our date and I didn’t want to upset you more.

In the middle of the evening he leaves

Even if you manage to go out on a date he finds an excuse in the middle of the evening, like I have to go to a concert with a friend of mine, sorry but I completely forgot about it so we only have an hour, is that okay?

Please do yourself a favor, don’t go out at all, you shouldn’t accept a date by the hour, it’s not like he’s your dentist.

If you don’t answer him he will come back looking for you

There is no logical solution to this dynamic, the chronic parcel puller needs his favorite game, he won’t give it up, so if you are no longer available he doesn’t know who to drive crazy and starts pestering you to try to see you.

He might even give you one normal date, even two, but know that he will then set up the same, same old dynamic again.

Brodie Denham

Writer