Here’s when getting back with an ex is a good idea (if not, leave it alone)
As painful as a breakup can be, relationships usually end for a good reason; especially when one member of the couple, or both, are unhappy.
However, sometimes the feelings one has for an old partner remain so strong that we doubt that breaking up was the right thing to do.
In fact, most of us have thought at least once about getting back together with an ex or have actually done so.
But is it really a good idea?
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Take for example exes Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, who tried again 16 years after they broke up. The newfound romance between the Bennifers has sparked many questions and conversations about how wise it actually is to get back together with an ex-boyfriend.
Sure, any relationship can work, but is getting back with the ex really what you want?
Here are some tips from experts if you are thinking about getting back together with an ex.
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What do the experts say?
Relationship expert Michelle Begy, CEO and founder of Ignite Dating, gave her professional advice regarding the matter.
When considering whether or not to get back with an ex, it is important, first and foremost, to think back to the past relationship and why it ended, Begy says. An ex is usually an ex for a reason.
Although there is romance in the idea of two people getting together after a while and realizing how well-matched they are, it rarely really works out that way.
Michelle Begy explains that it is important not to let history repeat itself if you choose to get back with an ex:
The underlying problems that were there before may be a forgotten memory now, but they are likely to resurface if you decide to get back together. Sometimes it is better to have loved and lost than to relive the same mistakes all over again.
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Getting back with the ex: yes or no?
The British have a saying, Better the devil you know. It means that sometimes we would rather stay in a bad situation-which we know well, however-rather than risk facing the uncertainty of change.
After all, when faced with a lack of options or the uncertainty of navigating the dating landscape, it is much easier to reconnect with an ex and pick up where you left off than to find and start something new from scratch.
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Michelle Begy explains, Most people turn to an ex because of a lack of dating options, loneliness, and boredom, none of which is a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
If this is the case, it’s best to avoid getting pulled into it: If you get the impression that an ex-partner sought you out and contacted you to rekindle a relationship because they had no other options, then don’t get involved. This is nothing but the perfect recipe for yet another disappointment in love.
But Begy is keen to point out that not all relationships are necessarily like this: There may be some cases where time spent apart has led two partners to realize what they had in their old relationship.ion and to understand that they really want to try again.
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Can getting back with an ex ever work?
If you are adamant and there are all the right conditions (and intentions) to get back with an ex, then you could potentially make it work.
However, as Begy points out, all relationships are different: there is no rule, but a premise that applies to everyone does.
Although reconnecting with an ex may work for some, it may not work for others.
For the relationship to work a second time, the problems and reasons that divided you the first time must be resolved.
If you both spent time apart working on yourselves and solving the problems that were there before, then you may have a better chance of it working again. Otherwise you are just setting yourself up for another failure once the honeymoon period ends and the harsh realities of life begin again.
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