How to answer those who ask, Why aren’t you engaged?

Brodie Denham

Writer

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It is one of the most dreaded questions of all singles, one that engaged friends ask with an awkward quietness, partly to insinuate that there is some problem in you, partly to torture you with a smile.

There is no serious or even sensible answer: you can only play with irony, try to change the subject or downplay it.

We have chosen eight answers that you can play around with in various situations, alternatively you can always choose silence topped with a big smile, that can be a clear answer too.

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I’m having fun. 147256

There are those periods in life when it is sacrosanct not to want to know, sometimes these periods go on for a long time and your friends begin to look at you with that mixture of pity and compassion, and they begin to set you up on a series of arranged dates without your knowledge.

So you will always have to remind them that you are fine, that you are not afflicted with some kind of incurable disease, on the contrary, you are having a great time, you are well, you are happy.

Why are you instead?

Answering a question with another question is always a good solution; it confuses the interlocutor and you have a very good chance of ending the conversation there or being able to steal some pearls of wisdom.

There is a risk, however, that the interlocutor will feel the need to tell you all the details of his or her wonderful love story: you can start by making like spring-headed dolls and nodding in a steady rhythm while looking at a fixed point in the void.

I’m crazy, can’t you tell? 147256

Scaring your interlocutor can be a strategy to keep you from asking this wonderful question again.

Which then, when they ask you nine times out of ten they think there is something wrong with you or that you are too demanding, so in the end you are just answering what they want to hear, you are reassuring them.

I attract the wrong ones

Be a victim, shift the blame to the men, not to you, tell them it’s not your fault, that narcissists stick to you like bees to honey and that you just can’t recognize them immediately because they are very good at lying.

I mean what can you do about it if your romanticism always drives you to believe that they are the men in your life? Then narcissists are always so beautiful, aren’t they?

Every choice is a renunciation

If you can’t convince them confuse them with words, start a very long philosophical discourse on life choices, on the fact that choosing A instead of choosing B is still in itself a renunciation and you just don’t feel like giving up something or someone, insert random terms like deontological or dichotomous and you will see that your interlocutor will pass the urge to ask more questions.

Do you have single friends?

Take advantage of this, you never know: maybe they have someone to introduce you to?

It’s always a good way to move the conversation to another topic anyway and maybe even get a date with a guy.

If the answer is, No, I don’t have any single friends, you can always reply that it’s hard to find someone free and that when they were assigning chairs at the chair game you were distracted and stood around.

I’m waiting for the second round

You can always pretend to be women looking at the futuro with hope, waiting for the next round to find a free man.

You do not want to have children and prefer to find someone who has already reproduced in the first round, also list the various advantages of being able to be with a mature man who has already lived and now just wants to grow old in peace with you.

I am a cat lady and cat ladies are single

The stupider a question is the more stupid the answer deserves to be.

So if you assess that your interlocutor does not deserve an effort, throw in clichés, which are always a good solution if you do not really want to give a serious and heartfelt answer to either yourself or your interlocutor.

You might even get a laugh, at which point smile and order yourself a drink.

Brodie Denham

Writer