Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
How to be happy in love in nine moves
There are people who manage to have happy and stable relationships without (apparent) effort. And others who keep running into the usual obstacles again and again. How to be happy in love then? Is it a matter of luck or is there a need for some form of skill?
** Do you know why we like bad boys? Here is the answer from psychologists **
The truth, as is often the case, lies in the middle: if you fall into the second category, you either have the bad luck of not having met the right person for you yet, or you are doing something wrong.
**8 missteps not to make at the beginning of a relationship (if you want it to last)**
How? Whether you fall in love in less than 24 hours, despair after just a week of dating a guy or know no middle ground, the good thing is that all you need to do to change your attitude is to follow these 10 rules.
For everything else, however, you just have to put yourself in the hands of fate.
How to be happy in love (in 9 moves)
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Ask yourself whether you like him or the idea you have of him
Do you fall in love with someone without really knowing him? Do you repeat to your best friend that he is the man in your life but you have only dated him once?
Maybe you need to start asking yourself whether you really fall in love with him or the idea you have of him, plus if your brain can’t handle more than one crush at a time, it’s likely to be obsession.
Before you wonder how to be happy in love by blaming fate, stop for a second and give yourself time to really get to know the person in front of you.
Don’t throw yourself headlong into an affair
Okay, you are a hopeless romantic and want to throw yourself into every story you experience but maybe you shouldn’t give everything about yourself and reveal all your cards to anyone who shows up on your doorstep.
Again: give yourself time to get to know whoever is in front of you and him to get to know you.
Don’t make him your obsession
Do you only talk about him, think only of him, and is your mood determined by his actions?
Well, then you are obsessed and not in love, especially if he has only been in your life for a few weeks. Don’t use the excuse that you are sensitive because it doesn’t work; find a new, healthier obsession, like the mountains.
Learn that the perfect man does not exist
Your father is not perfect, Leonardo DiCaprio is not perfect, and the perfect man does not exist.
Tattoo this in your mind and stop idealizing that kind of little boy who doesn’t answer your messages, imagine him in the bathroom in the morning when he is performing his physiological needs, you will find him less attractive.
Learn that he is not the one who has to save you
He is not a superhero, superheroes do not exist, and he was not created to make you happy, he will not save you from sadness, he will not write a song for you like Battiato’s The Cure.
In short, do-it-yourself makes three, be happy on your own and do not make your balance dependent on another living being.
Learn to accept the middle ground
I’m about to make a shocking revelation to you, at the beginning of a relationship the middle ground does exist, and it’s not always all either black or white.
For this reason you cannot be indifferent or madly in love with a person, in short you have to be able to feel something that is akin to a nuance, that is between total devotion and utter indifference.
Know that having a man next to you does not make you better
Your self-esteem and worth do not increase if you have a man next to you, you are not a failure if you are not in a relationship, marriage, etc. etc.
To judge yourself by the success of your love life is to be tremendously strict and incredibly idealistic: look at yourself from another point of view, you will love yourself more and be able to make yourself loved.
Don’t belittle yourself, you’re better than him
There are beautiful and talented women who sacrifice themselves for scraps of humanity and often get their feet put to them.
Amy Winehouse who was endlessly talented was getting her feet stepped on by her half-baked loser boyfriend.
Learn to judge yourself with clarity and as a result you will judge those in front of you in the same way, a step that teaches you to love and protect yourself.
Stop communicating emergency
Sometimes you are so desperate and in need of romance that you communicate emergency, you are like an apartment alarm that doesn’t want to know about going offKnow that there is nothing less attractive or more frightening in the world to a human being of any sex: stop it now or you will drive them all away.
