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How to make a relationship last (by being the opposite of the stars)
Celebrity marriages and relationships are about as volatile as it gets in the star system: one moment it’s great love, the next there’s a press release about a separation. So what do stars have to do with an article on how to make a relationship last?
Easy: by taking a cue from their mistakes, it is possible to do the opposite and at least limit what are the most common mistakes that undermine the longevity (and happiness) of a relationship.
Because often the warnings of shipwreck are visible from the beginning, if you look at them from the outside.
In short, here’s why even what seemed like the most solid marriages in showbiz failed, and how to avoid making similar mistakes in your own relationship.
How to make a relationship last (by being the opposite of the stars)
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You don’t know each other well enough
It is undoubtedly the most common reason for breaking up in Hollywood, given in most cases by those who have done things in a hurry.
In fact, swept away by the wave of enthusiasm and falling in love, people often come to make gestures (such as a marriage, or simply living together) too rashly, and without really knowing the other person.
So why not be a little more cautious and guarded, so that in a couple of years we don’t have to get into an argument about how many coffee cups belong to one or the other?
Betrayals
Or even third wheel, as the case may be. This is a great classic, in true Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston style, but it says a lot about the traitor in question.
A fickle man-or woman-who, in love, has always bounced from one relationship to another with extreme ease and without worrying too much about the collateral damage he or she left behind, is unlikely to suddenly become a saint.
It can happen, of course, but it is equally true that a tiger’s stripes are hard to change.
One spends (too) little time together
The long tours, the endless sets away from home, the many weeks spent promoting a new film around the world, the festivals, the social events… for stars, sometimes being able to carve out time to spend together can be a challenge.
And that, often, leads to a breakup.
And the same is true here on earth: when you are in a couple, leading lives that are too independent then turns into a double-edged sword, leading you to be increasingly separated from each other.
With consequences that are irreparable in the long run.
When you don’t consider each other’s priority
Also read I love being in the spotlight too much to take your needs into account.
It is a fact: stars possess power, fame, success, money, ego. And for some it is difficult to give up even a slice of this package for another person.
The exact same thing happens when you stumble upon a particularly egotistical individual, and you fight with all your might for a sliver of his or her attention-even if you vie for it with soccer and not with Tarantino’s new movie upon closer inspection.
This is a losing battle from the start, because he (or she) will never make his (or her) decisions with your needs and the needs of the couple in mind, but only and only his (or her) own.
Careers that are too different
In a celebrity’s life, a movie, a record album or a TV series can enshrine her and take her from semi-unknown to global star.
Take Bradley Cooper, who after a small part in Sex And The City experienced success thanks to A Hangover, with all that came with it: even in normal life there are opportunities that can turn someone else’s life around and place him or her on a different plane than the one from which one initially started.
It is not impossible to find a point at which to reconnect, but it is still necessary to keep one’s feet on the ground, never to take oneself for granted, and – above all – not to place oneself on a hypothetical pedestal that is likely to collapse when one least expects it.
Opportunity bulimia
Okay, that’s an understatement, because everyone calls it more prosaically jealousy. Which, when you’re a celebrity surrounded by your peers on any occasion-social or otherwise-becomes an everyday risk, from which not even someone like Kate Moss is immune.
And even out of the spotlight, even those outside the star system are bombarded with opportunities that they might seize undisturbed.
That is why it is always necessary to ask whether certain behaviors adopted, viewed from the outside, risk being misleading.
And if so, self-impose stakes to protect your relationship.
Excessive theatricality
Celebrities are used to acting, but often confsway the set with real life, transforming it into their own personal stage of all kinds of drama, excesses and vices.
It goes without saying that their marriages, losing that constancy and consistency needed to work, become a kind of bad movie destined to result in divorce.
Without going to these extremes, however, it is equally true that full-blown rock-star-style quarrels, unforgettable scenes and heartbreak worthy of Gone With the Wind leave – in the long run – their time to be found.
If you resort to such ploys to escape boredom and rekindle your relationship… then perhaps the affair in question is not as solid and exciting as you think.
