Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
How to organize a love meeting?
Reading Time 6 minute(s)
Arranging a first interview with a new conquest can be a real worry. This first impression you will make of each other will surely determine the rest of the relationship. Even if your exchanges up to that point were promising, you still need to know who this person is in real life.
The phase of first contact is over, it is now time to really get to know each other, to know if you have finally found the rare pearl you were looking for. And if this is the case, it is not allowed to let him/her go! Here are a few tips to prepare for this first date without stressing.
Set up a date without upsetting your schedule
The first rule of thumb is not to change your long-standing plans in order to fit in with your date’s schedule. This is important for the rest of your relationship, where each of you must keep your life, your hobbies, your social relations and your professional obligations in order to preserve your personal balance. So don’t ask the man or woman you are going to meet to move his or her own schedule for your date.
In addition, this change in schedule can be a cause of additional stress for both of you, which would not be ideal for having a good time.
It’s very simple, you will inevitably find a time slot where you will both be available. To do this, ask your future partner if he (or she) prefers a daytime or evening outing, and if he (or she) is available during the week or on the weekend. Based on his or her answers, suggest several days among your availabilities and let him or her choose.
Find ideas for a first date
This is probably the most complicated phase of organizing a first date. You can choose to meet for dinner, to visit a museum, to play sports… To avoid making mistakes in the choice of activities and places, talk to your loved one and try to find out what his/her interests are.
Find out about his or her musical, artistic, gastronomic and sports tastes… Anything that he or she might enjoy on a daily basis. This is already the oIt’s a chance to get to know each other, but it’s also a time to find common ground, so you can find an attractive getaway to spend some quality time together. Because even if you will do everything to please him, don’t forget that the chosen activity must also please you. Otherwise, you might not enjoy the time together, which could make you feel uncomfortable.
If you are planning a dinner out, ask him/her what kind of food he/she prefers and what restaurants he/she usually goes to. And if you’re a good cook, why not prepare a dinner yourself inspired by the cuisines he/she likes best. If he/she is interested in cooking, you could cook together the meal of your evening during a culinary workshop for example.
For a cultural outing, try to find out what art exhibits, movies, shows he/she has seen recently, and what he/she thought of them. The goal is not to play it safe by choosing a place he/she knows, especially not! The objective is to use this information to select the ideal outing.
Try to be inventive by choosing an activity or a place that will leave him/her with an unforgettable memory, and that will give you the opportunity to exchange as much as possible throughout the meeting. The cities closest to your home are surely full of unusual places, breathtaking landscapes, open-air shows, film screenings in magnificent halls, or even bars, tea rooms or restaurants with unusual decoration and atmosphere…
If you decide to do an activity where you can’t exchange a lot, such as going to the cinema for example, plan a follow-up to the meeting. Don’t stay on an activity where you can’t talk to each other. You can go out to eat somewhere, or have a coffee and talk about the movie and other things.
Whatever you choose to do, remember to reserve your seats in advance. This will help you avoid unpleasant surprises. And if it’s not possible to make a reservation, and even if something unexpected happens, always have a backup plan in mind. It would be a shame to have to cancel at the last minute.
To keep the surprise effect, don’t tell the man (or woman) you are going to meet too much about the chosen activity. Just tell them the type of outfit that it is preferable to put on (especially if it is a sporting activity, or a visit to a fancy place). And meet him/her in a neutral location, or offer to pick him/her up at a location of his/her choice.
Getting ready for the first date
The first thing to do is to take the time to relax before the date. Don’t be stressed, and if you are, then take a moment to practice a sport, an artistic activity, or simply to take a bath. Stress can be contagious so don’t arrive at your appointment feeling anxious. The more relaxed you are, the better the feeling will be.
Then, this first interview could certainly be the occasion of a first flirtation. To get there, take care of your appearance. Make yourself look good, and choose a comfortable outfit that you particularly like, and especially appropriate for the outing you plan to make. To have plenty of time to get ready, plan to do it well in advance (even prepare the clothes the day before, it will be one less thing to plan on the day).
Finally, be punctual. Arriving late could be unpleasant for the person you are meeting. It could cause him/her some stress. He/she might wonder if he/she got the wrong day or place for the appointment, or if you finally decided to stand him/her up. All that time you let him/her wait will be time of uncertainty for him/her. This could affect his or her mood, and therefore the success of the date.
On the other hand, if you come to pick him/her up at his/her house, there is no need to arrive too early, just be there on time. Leave him/her time to prepare at his/her convenience, without oppressing him/her.
If your first meeting goes well, think already about the second meeting, by continuing to be interested in what your new conquest would like to do.
