Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
mistakes not to make when flirting in chat rooms
It used to be that we would call each other and spend long afternoons on the other end of the telephone receiver telling each other all about everything or simply making a date somewhere to spend a few hours together.
Now, however, everything goes through long voicemails, emoticons with little hearts and phrases that you don’t always understand what they mean.
Because, let’s face it: chat is a minefield and there are really many, many mistakes that can be made.
Here’s what you should avoid doing, even though we know you’ve all eventually fallen into it at least once in your life.
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Don’t go into a flutter if he doesn’t answer
No anxiety, no panic.
If he doesn’t answer, don’t start making mistakes one after another, don’t send first a random emoticon, then a picture of a landscape, and finally one of those questions that hints at your galloping state of panic.
No hey, are you alive?
He’s alive, he’s just an asshole, or he’s busy doing sit-ups or rescuing a kitten in a tree.
Wait, breathe and repeat with us he will answer, he will answer, he will answer.
Beat back blow after blow
A chat is as close as you can get to dribbling in tennis, you have to gain ground and you have to throw the ball back to him elegantly and without losing control.
The goal is not to score but to keep the ball in play.
How do you do it? You have to throw the ball back to him, no definitive statements, no locks, give him room to put it back and continue the conversation.
No cheesiness
Okay, you had a good time last night, but you don’t need to tell him.
Do you think he is a nice person and you like him? You should not uncover the cards in this case either.
If you are in the beginning you will expose the side, it would be like giving him the upper hand, to keep interest high the rule is only one, keep the mystery equally high.
The most important rule, however, remains: no hearts or the like.
Don’t be aggressive
No emancipated female attacks, no sexual double entendres, no posing like a consummate porn star, no selfie in which you squirm to show him your B-side.
There is nothing less sexy than a woman who seeks validation by being navigated and experienced.
The time will come to jump on you, not through a keyboard though.Don’t just stare at the phone
You know very well, it sends you flailing too if you’re typing and that darn online appears.
Please don’t stare at the chat while he’s typing, throw him in a pond to test the underwater function, give him to your cousin to play some silly little game, do anything but take your eyes off the screen.
Occasionally don’t answer
Make an effort, in the middle of a conversation put the phone in your bag and start putting on nail polish, knead pizza, go play tennis, of course without telling him, just take the damn phone out of your hands.
Sending them into a flutter works and especially serves you to take time when your fingers are not typing and forwarding messages to the universe.
Don’t be a doormat
Don’t stand behind them, no doormat, get respect.
He said something particularly inappropriate, don’t respond.
Doesn’t interact with you as you would like, don’t waste your time.
Don’t give him the impression that you are standing there waiting for a sign from him, he probably just needs to be told to fuck off-if he cares about you instead you are simply letting him know that this is not the right attitude.
If he deletes and rewrites it is okay
Is he writing and deleting? It means you have thrown him a hard ball, don’t worry, let him go flapping: it’s a good thing, don’t stare at that screen and don’t be afraid he won’t respond.
He will, every courtship however needs its own time, don’t rush him into the corner, after all it has to be something fun, not resemble a police interrogation.
