Nine mistakes not to make at the beginning of a relationship
As long as the boat is going let it go: true, but sometimes it also takes little nudges to steer the boat in the right and peaceful direction.
Especially when we meet after a lifetime of bad relationships.
How: All it takes is a few little nudges to keep the boat from sinking in the open sea and having a less-than-happy ending.
Don’t get anxious, it only takes a little to be able to live it out peacefully and leave all the ballast of the past in the harbor.
Here are the nine mistakes not to make at the beginning of a relationship.
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Avoid easy hysteria
Yes okay, you have suffered and met a lot of asshole men and who did not deserve your affection, you feel hurt and are afraid of suffering again but loading these feelings of insecurity on a new relationship will not do her any good.
To sail serene you should be carefree, the ballasts leave them in the harbor, or you won’t get far.
Do not treat him like his mother
You should not start doing his laundry, blowing his nose, but neither should you start hammering him with close-range remarks and calls.
You are not allowed to make his life hell by making a list of all the things wrong with him and everything he does wrong.
He is not your child, if you need to indulge your maternal instincts buy a puppy.
Don’t consider routine an enemy
It is inevitable that a routine will come, it couldn’t be any other way, you had one of your own when you were single, simply now you have joined two.
Forming your routine is the first step to a relationship, it should not make you afraid, the important thing is that it is something of your own, something you are comfortable in, something you are ready to interrupt when needed.
You don’t stop taking care of yourself
He doesn’t care about your waxing, you no longer obsess about doing your nails every two weeks to get the color of the moment, and during the day you no longer wear makeup as if he were going on a set with Kim Kardashian.
Okay, but you can’t go from one extreme to the other, from super bombshell to grandma in a flannel sweater.
Keep taking care of yourself, do it for you and not for him, and you will see the relationship benefit.
Don’t turn into a spiteful housewife
You don’t need to churn out five-course dinners every night, you don’t have to make a different dessert every day.
You’re not in the cast of a cooking show, it’s not a competition with his mother and his exes.
Cook when you feel like it, it will surely please him, but don’t get anxious, you can even go out to dinner once in a while or orginate some takeout, junk food is good for you.
Try to do what you enjoy together
You have a passion for motorcycles or a particular sport, try to combine you and your passions, it will be one of the pieces that will hold you together, it’s like adding pieces to a puzzle.
Also because nothing makes you happier than doing what you like, if you can find someone who likes it as much as you do you have won the lottery.
Always keep some mystery
Don’t stop doing it, otherwise he will think thateverything is taken for granted, everything easy and within reach.
Take moments just for you, every once in a while don’t be stuck on the phone all the time, schedule your engagements and evenings, and even do something without him.
There’s nothing wrong with that but it will help regain the desire to be together.
Don’t give up evenings with your girlfriends
Don’t put your friends aside, they put up with you when you were single and depressed, try to keep carving out time for them.
If he invites you to the movies and you have already arranged with them, don’t pack them: they don’t deserve it, he will see them the next day.
Don’t be paranoid
You don’t have to make fun of them but don’t become paranoid either.
Men are very unlikable when it comes to fidelity but neither can you become an FBI agent who has to follow all his tracks to catch the first sign of infidelity and kill him at birth.
Relationships are based on trust, if he comes to break it you will notice, there is no need to live with anxiety.