Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
Rules to follow to be (really) happy in love
There is no certain recipe for having a happy life in love, because by necessity the luck of meeting the right person for you also plays a role.
That said, there are at least 8 rules that, if followed slavishly, allow you to do your full part and not waste time with the wrong ones while waiting for the right one.
Suffering needlessly.
All the rules revolve around the big assumption that you must love yourself as you are and respect yourself first: this will ensure that you will always be able to judge lucidly who is in front of you, say no to human cases, complicated people, useless pursuit of runaways or think that getting into bed with someone is the only way to bind him or her to you.
Here’s why you should be clear and confident, not compromise and always speak your mind, even in love.
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Don’t lie to yourself
If you lie to yourself about what you really want from a person you have no hope of getting it.
Thinking that things will change with time is a romantic movie warp with a happy ending and usually just leads to banging your head against a pretty hard wall.
If you want a relationship, don’t pretend you just want sex.
If that’s the case fine, but if you are lying you risk getting hurt.
Send clear messages
Once you have ascertained what you want make it clear to the other person as well.
If you pretend to be something you are not, with words you will say things and with actions you will behave in the opposite way.
Pretending does nothing to change someone’s mind or make them fall in love with you; on the contrary, you are much more likely to avoid wasting time or gaining a person’s respect by sending clear, clean messages.
3. Don’t accept crumbs
A man who tells you that he has no intention of having a serious affair with you a priori does not deserve an ounce of your attention, it is useless to think that when you are together you are fine anyway or that in the end there is nothing better around.
Stooping under the table to pick up crumbs humiliates you and only makes you feel worse, it doesn’t matter if that one time a month makes you feel wonderful, they are leftovers and you are picking them up off the floor.
4. Don’t be the weak part
Being insecure and willing to accept anything inevitably turns you into the weak part, any loser on the face of the earth gets the power from you to treat you like a piece of dirt.
Do you really want to grant this power?
If you are not aware of your worth, you cannot be treated as you deserve because you do not believe you deserve it.
5. Don’t depend on his approval
You should never think that someone’s approval defines who you are.
What he says is not religion, if he doesn’t understand your value or if he simply doesn’t like you enough doesn’t mean it will be that way with every man on earth.
Approve yourself first and then look for someone who understands you, knowing that you cannot please everyone.
6. Do not chase hopeless cases
A difficult love is not necessarily a novel with a happy ending, a difficult love is not necessarily a novel with a happy ending, a difficult love is not necessarily a novel with a happy ending.
Say it again, one more time.
Stories that get off to a difficult start, people who don’t show up, who don’t respond, who have to be begged, chased, pressed, should be left where they are.
It’s not you they don’t like, they’re probably dating five others, stop nagging.
7. Non be afraid of rejection
Doesn’t he want you? Who cares, he’s not the only man in existence in the world, and he’s probably not even the best man you’ve met.
A woman who is clear about her value does not accuse herself in case of rejection.
Sure, questioning yourself is okay but thinking it’s your fault because he doesn’t love you is the wrongest thing you can do.
Aren’t you right for each other? Fuck you, next, Ariana Grande would say.
8. An affair will not make you happier
You are you, regardless of your sex or love life, your friends are no better than you if they are in an affair or if they have a lot of men running like greyhounds at a signal from them.
It doesn’t make you better to be in a relationship, and thinking about it makes you cringe at the idea of finding one or making what doesn’t work work at all costs but that won’t make you happier.
