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Single father: how to rebuild your life after a separation or divorce?
Reading time 6 minute(s)
After a separation, perhaps painful, you are a single father, and you have decided to start a new life? You’re thinking about meeting new people, but it’s not easy to embark on this new adventure when you’re a father.Between the prejudices, the guilt, and the organization of your new family life, you probably find the task very difficult, even impossible. Well, if you really want to find love again, you’ll have to do some real work on yourself and take your love life in hand.You are not just a single dad, you are first and foremost a man, and being a father is just a part of you. It does not define you entirely. You have other facets that make you an attractive person.Here are our best tips for finding someone!
Before launching into an operation seduction, mourn your past love
Although your previous history has marked your love and family life forever, it is absolutely necessary to turn the page in order to love again. This is not always obvious, and it can take time, but it is an essential step if you are considering a serious encounter.To do this you will have to detach yourself from your ex, make sure that your feelings for her are absolutely not feelings of love anymore. Since she is certainly the mother of your little girls, you will have to deal with her presence in one way or another. So take the time to sort out your relationship, and learn how to live this new single dad lifestyle.If unfortunately the woman with whom you started a family has passed away, then take the time to mourn completely, do not hesitate to be accompanied by a therapist if you feel the need, and wait until you are ready before dating.You must first learn to leave the past behind you, to finally move forward and consider getting back together.
Take some time for yourself and take stock of your desires
You are going to start meeting new people, and you want to succeed in finding the new woman of your life… Or the woman of your new life… This is the time to take stock of what you expect from your sentimental future!Determine what you want, and what you don’t want. The women you are going to meet may be mothers, will you be ready to live in a large blended family? If they are not, they may want to be, so do you want to be a dad again?No need to waste time and invest in a story whose future is already compromised by different family ambitions. It is also necessary that you can be clear about your future when you will approach the question with your conquests.Also identify what caused your divorce, or your breakup with your ex. Analyze your mistakes, and learn from them so you don’t make them again. We often tend to repeat our mistakes, simply because we did not take care to do a real work on ourselves before starting a new life together.Finally take some time for yourself, and live your single man life to the fullest. Go out when you have the chance, take up sports, travel if you can. Do all the things that make you feel good on a daily basis, and make sure you are fulfilled in your new life. Single dads deserve some time to themselves too!
Relieve your guilt and talk to your children about your desire to remake your life
Allow yourself happiness and love. A divorced dad will tend to want to devote himself to his offspring, and feel guilty as soon as he goes out without a child. Now that you are separated from your ex-wife, you have every right to meet new people and fall in love. Besides, there are women who are not afraid to meet a single dad, and who can envisage a future with this type of man.There is nothing wrong with wanting to remake one’s life, and a child will always be reassured to know his parents are happy, as long as the situation is well explained.It’s important that you take the time to talk to your son or daughter about the separation, and as you do so, you need to gradually address the idea that Mom and Dad will probably start over with other people.You will have to reassure them, and for that the dialogue will allow you to know precisely what bothers them and what makes them afraid. You must be aware of their limits. They may not be ready to accept your new love life. In this case, do not rush anything, and discuss with them, explain to them that you need to be in love again, tell them why it is important for you. Just as you want their happiness, they want yours, sometimes all it takes is patience and perseverance.Make it clear to them that you are not going to let them down. Plan your outings with them in advance, and keep your promises. This will let them know they can trust you.Regarding the introduction of your new partner, you should wait until you are sure that your relationship is stable and made to last. There is no need to make them relive a separation, especially since they could become attached to this new person that you will bring into their lives. As always, don’t move too fast.
To meet new people, there’s no secret, you’ll have to get out of the house
Again, being a single dad won’t make it easy. But all it takes is a little organization. If you have joint custody with their mother, that’s fine: use the time you’re alone to schedule your outings and romantic dates. If you explain the situation clearly to your new girlfriend, she’ll be able to wait 15 days before seeing you again, especially if she cares about you. She will also know directly what she is committing to in terms of dating and loving a single father.You can also ask your toddlers’ grandmother for help from time to time, and she’ll probably enjoy spending time with her grandchildren. You can also hire a babysitter. Don’t feel guilty about leaving your children to be looked after for a while, and plan wonderful moments with them at the same time, so that you can enjoy precious moments with your family, while knowing how to preserve your love life.You can also decide to start chatting with women on dating sites. But in any case, one day you will have to organize a first date, which will lead to other dates if the current goes well. So you’ll have to put aside your single dad side for a while and be a single man, free and available.
