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Staying friends with ex-boyfriend: five reasons not to do it now
Let’s talk about ex-boyfriends and how, after intense love and after a breakup, even the most peaceful one, it is difficult and sometimes impossible to stay in each other’s lives, because you risk hurting yourself and causing, in those who have been left behind, even more pain.
This is why it is not worthwhile to remain friends with an ex. At least, not right away.
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Breaking the Thread
Breaking up is like getting over a bereavement, you have to learn to live without each other, create a new daily routine and different habits.
Keeping the ex in your life means remaining anchored in the past with a thread that prevents you from moving on, overcoming the loss and building a life without him.
There is no non-painful way, the thread must be cut and it is not easy.
The pain
Seeing each other again is always painful, especially when the wound is still fresh.
There is always one of the two, when breaking up, who has suffered the other’s choice and cannot easily accept the parting.
Meeting again only opens emotional taps violently and creates Vajont-like disasters.
Hating oneself is part of the stages of letting go, when one has truly loved oneself and the person we thought could never let us down or cause us pain makes us feel bad we can’t help but hate him or her, even when we are the ones who leave, we still feel betrayed.
It is the opposite feeling of love, but also the only possible feeling when one can no longer love.
Seeing him with another
As Battisti used to say you know that I might, unfortunately, no longer be alone, try to avoid all the places I go to that you know too.
Seeing him with another might resemble getting ten stabs in the back with small, sharp knives, you can only avoid him like the plague, at least in the first few months.
That person is gone
No matter how long it takes you to get over it, it often takes months, sometimes years.
The only thing that will allow you to do it and that will turn on the healing bell will be the realization that the person you loved no longer exists, is different, and cannot return.
Perhaps you will become friends, but not before you are healed, have taken your time, and have learned to love yourself: only then can you heal.
