The 7 stages you go through after a relationship ends (before getting well again)
The end of a relationship always hurts. The process of separation and all the emotions that come with it can make us feel as if we will never recover.
The good news, however, is that this will not happen.
According to some research, on average, a woman goes through the end of a relationship four times during her lifetime, with the first occurring around the age of 20.
Separation from romantic partners, especially when one has been left, brings with it grief comparable to bereavement. Going through a breakup, therefore, mirrors the key stages of grief seen in the grieving process.
To get through this process unscathed, then, experts recommend learning to recognize the seven stages and to give space to one’s feelings rather than repressing them.
Surviving and thriving through these 7 stages, in short, is healthy. Here’s what to expect.
**10 tips for (really) getting over the end of a relationship**
**Do you need a cooling off from your relationship? Follow these 4 rules to make it work**
7 emotional steps needed to get over the end of a relationship
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1. First reaction… shock! (semicit)
Shock is an immediate reaction that begins immediately after the breakup.
If your relationship has just ended, you are likely still in shock and unable to cope with anything at the moment. You used to share everything with one person, and now suddenly that person is no longer in your life. Such thoughts make you feel lonely, vulnerable and insecure.
At this stage usually questions fill your mind: you will question what was wrong with the relationship and want answers from your ex. This phase of disbelief can last for days, weeks, or even months.
The second stage, having overcome the initial shock, is rejection.
Accepting the stinging truth that your relationship no longer works or that your partner no longer wants to be with you can be really difficult.
Denial is a common reaction to oppressive conditions and circumstances: you refuse to accept reality and suppress your emotions, leaving a chance for reunion.
During this phase, it is common to call, stalk on social media or send excessive messages-anything about the relationship that seems remotely normal-to delay the process of dealing with the breakup.
In this stage, the heart goes from feeling sadness to feeling deep anger; toward your ex for his or her decision to separate, or perhaps toward yourself for the reasons that led to the breakup.
In the former case, many people indulge in behaviors considered cathartic such as burning old photos, putting their ex’s belongings in a box. But anger and nervousness toward oneself can express itself through negative self talk. Either way, one is looking for someone to blame.
Although the end of a relationship seems like the end of the world, it really is not. If you are going through the anger phase, it is essential to control your feelings. Try writing them down in a journal or seek help from a psychologist. But do your best not to act on them.
Once anger subsides, most people begin to experience feelings of sadness and depression.
When one realizes the extent of the loss, dealing with emotions and reality can seem all too overwhelming. You may spend many days in a state of deep sadness resembling mild depression, and experience intense emotions such as hopelessness and helplessness. During this phase, even getting out of bed may become a difficult task.
It is essential to surround yourself with positivity during this period: keep your friends and family close and try to avoid unhealthy habits such as drinking or binge drinking.
As much as it may hurt, this is actually one of the healthiest phases of a breakup. Allowing yourself to feel all the sadness now will help you move on and move on later.
5. Emotional roller coaster
Will I ever find true love?, Will I ever be happy again?. If you are asking yourself these questions, you are probably going through the fateful emotional roller coaster phase.
This stage includes intense emotional pain, guilt, insecurity, hope, despair and loneliness. One minute you feel energetic and hopeful; the next you want to lock yourself in and cry.
Although this phase can be hard and confusing, it is actually a good sign because it is an indication that you are interested in recovering your former life and moving on. In fact, in order to heal, you have to overcome the pain. It sounds cliché, but it is true!
One fine day you will wake up and realize that it is time to come to terms with reality, and you will decide to move on.
This is the perfect time to reconnect with yourself and make the most of the opportunities that come your way. You will start smiling again, reappreciate the beauties of life, and may even start a new flirtation.
You thought this day would never come. Instead, it is here, it has happened. You wake up one morning and you are yourself again, and the pain associated with your ex has become barely perceptible, more like the memory of an emotion than an actual emotion.
You are able to reflect positively on the end of your relationship and have a perspective chimacaw about it. You have gotten to know each other better and are ready to try dating again to start a new story.
This phase is the one that makes sense of all the others: the sun is shining again and you feel ready to move on and face life again.