Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
The fear of being abandoned in the couple
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Here you go! As a couple I mean… You live together, plan to buy a house, have children maybe even already. Only one evil remains. You are afraid of being abandoned. And the worst thing is that you are ashamed of this thought!
But no matter how much you reason with yourself, reassure yourself, talk to your endless friends, nothing seems to work: it seems cruelly real to you that your loved one could leave you at any moment… Because yes! Contrary to what we think, this fear is not reserved for the early stages of a love relationship and can very well occur afterwards.
The fear of abandonment: not so obvious origins…
That’s a real question! Where does this uncontrollable fear of rejection come from? We must admit that like many of our problems, it has its source in our childhood. A busy mother, a father who is not very present, the arrival of a little brother or sister, the death of a loved one or even the passing of time…
You see, these situations are common and are not always emotional abandonment! Whoever we are, we have all experienced a separation in our childhood. However, we are not all equal when it comes to sadness, and some have experienced these logical (although tragic) events as real traumas.
However, we should not hold these people responsible. They simply did not know how to accompany you serenely in your separation process. But think about it now, maybe they too, just like you, were unable to deal with it.
How can you get these anxieties out of your head?
Unfortunately, there is no cure for this evil… Because it is not! It is perfectly normal to be afraid of being abandoned. Rather than trying to curb this unpleasant feeling, learn to accept it.
Don’t let the preconceived ideas that literature and television have been conveying for so long, decide your behavior. Yes, this society would like us to believe that our emotions must be perfect, beautiful, clear and silent, just like our bodies or our relationship.t and above all invulnerable. Remember, we are human and as such, we must accept our fragility, our uncertainties, our doubts and our fears and that’s good! There is only one solution to all these problems: communication. Start a dialogue with your loved one about what is worrying you, and you will see that the big monster under the bed was only a pile of dirty clothes!
