Why don’t men court anymore? The answer from psychology
Are you wondering why men don’t court anymore? Actually, you have a point: unfortunately, courtship lately is often skipped in...
This is why we fall in love with a certain person and another person does not
Ah, love. Noble feeling that elevates us to seventh heaven until the moment we lose our hunger, our sleep, and find ourselves with that feeling of adrenaline in our veins.
The thought is always of him/her and at the first suspicious like on social media, we blow up like the first day of sales at the mall.
We feel alive, energetic, extremely single-minded and ready to face any eventuality, as long as the other person is there.
When we fall in love we are enveloped in the magic of emotions, it is an experience that takes us to new dimensions and no matter how many times we experience, each time will always be unique and different from the one before.
But do you know why we fall in love with one person rather than another?
Here are four facts you should know about the falling in love phase.
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In the stage of falling in love, smells are crucial because they guide us in the direction of our partner.
Choosing one person (and one smell!) over another depends on the most irrational part of the brain and is linked to our DNA.
Basically, smells related to a DNA sequence too similar to ours will not appeal to us while smells related to a totally different DNA sequence may appeal to us.
This prevents matching of genetic strains that are too similar.
Opposites repel each other
The fable you have always been told about opposites attracting is a falsehood.
People seek relationships in which they share values and thoughts; you are attracted to someone in whom you see the characteristics you most like and appreciate in other people.
You will fall in love with someone and influence each other until you share many sides of your personality.Falling in love is addictive
When you fall in love, it is as if you are addicted to a substance.
Researcher Hellen Fisher conducted a study in which she showed that the brain in love and the brain on drugs are activated by the same chemical mediators and marked by the same neuronal pathways.
They even develop the symptoms of addiction such as poor appetite, sleep disturbances, tolerance and withdrawal.
Falling in love is not the same as loving
We can fall in love with someone and not be reciprocated, we can experience intense emotions that disrupt our daily lives without in the least involving the other person.
It is very different from love, which, on the other hand, depends not only on a self but on the creation of a we.
Be careful though, between the transition from falling in love to love there is time to form a relationship in which the needs of one and the other are complementary.
