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Writing first on Tinder & co (if you’re female) doesn’t work

Writing first on Tinder & co (if you’re female) doesn’t work
Brodie Denham
June 14, 2023
2 min read
Brodie Denham
Brodie Denham
Writer
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Despite the success of dating apps, which are revolutionizing relationships in today’s society, never-extinct gender stereotypes still influence how men and women approach courtship, even when it is online.

In new research published by the Oxford Internet Institute (OII), scholars surveyed 150,000 heterosexual users on the dating site eHarmony over a 10-year period in the United Kingdom.

The results show that men and women still exhibit gender-stereotypical behaviors when it comes to online dating.

(Continued below post)

The Study Findings

The study showed that online dating not only confirmed that it is men who make the first move but exacerbated it, since there is a 30 percent greater likelihood that men are the ones who write the first message.

Despite progress toward gender equality in recent decades, in fact, researchers have found that the number of men initiating online conversations has increased over the years, from 6 percent in 2008 to 30 percent in 2018.

Conversely, when women initiate the conversation, men do not see it as well.

In fact, the study shows that the message response rate women receive drops by 15 percent when they are the first to write.

There is a strong inequality in who-writes-first, a game with a clear ending: if you write first and you are a man you win, if you are a woman you lose.

Other gender differences

The study also showed that yes, women are more likely to be evaluated on their appearance than men.

Some of the most important factors in determining women’s success on dating apps are in fact physical traits, but also age and athleticism; while men are judged on helpfulness and selflessness, as well as-also-athleticism.

Finally, being smart predicts success for men but not for women.

The study-conducted over a 10-year period-concludes that over time a partner’s income has become less and less important to both sexes.

Brodie Denham
Brodie Denham
Writer
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